Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A Pretty Difficult Day

Bailey had a pretty yucky day. It started out good (although she was up 2 lbs this a.m. - probably due to IV fluids) - she woke up hungry and ate her breakfast. It just didn't stay down too long. Then the vomiting caused lots of pain in her sides - probably because of all the fluid pulling, tugging and smashing everything - so they gave her morphine for her pain. Between that and a different nausea medication, she was pretty well out of it all day. She opened her eyes and sat up only to vomit. So, so hard to see her sick. One reason the last several months have been even tolerable us that she has felt pretty good besides the discomfort of all the extra fluid. But to see her so miserable, weak and pretty much out of it - completely not herself - is so hard and stressful on me. She would wake up enough to ask me questions throughout the day, "Mom, why do I feel this way?" "Mom, I don't want morphine anymore - I don't like this." "Why am I so weak?" Just made me want to cry. Well, in fact, I did have a small break down this morning. It was funny . . . I just got showered and dressed and could feel it welling up inside. I decided I needed to talk to Debbie. Not knowing where she was in the hospital, I paged her. I was just walking out of Bailey's room when I paged her because Bailey was still sleeping and didn't really want her to see or hear me cry, and I say, "Hi Debbie. Where are you?" And she says, "I'm standing right here looking at you." And I look up to see her standing about 10 feet away. Hours later, it was pretty funny, but at the time, I just walked up to her and fell apart. She and Dr. D took me aside and had a very nice conversation just basically reiterating everything and assuring me that this wasn't happening because her heart was getting worse. They made me feel better, but I knew I would be in trouble when I walked back in Bailey's room. She was instantly be afraid of why I was crying. She's been around me enough to see my minor breakdowns and wasn't too surprised to see this one.

The liver doctor came to see Bailey today and they did an ultrasound of her liver. And the thyroid doctor came to check that out. Haven't heard any results of anything really, so don't think they found much there. But Dr. D and Dr. T have consulted (and the liver doctor also) and they decided to drain some of the fluid off of Bailey's belly. So probably tomorrow afternoon they'll get her in. They're not going to just draw it out with a syringe, they are hooking her up to a line that will be controlled by a pump that will draw the fluid out over a 24 or 48 hour period. This will hopefully avoid any issues with dropping blood pressure. They're also doing a lung biopsy while they're in there and giving her a central line (an I.V. that can potentially stay in for weeks/months - maybe she can avoid all these I.V. sticks). We might have to spend the night in ICU - depending on how well things go. But hopefully she will feel much, much better afterwards. Procedures all have their risks, so Bailey and I are both a little nervous, but looking forward to feeling better.

Well, unfortunately, I've developed a blind spot in my left eye and now squigglies which only means a migraine coming on. I was so looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight. Oh well. Ugh!! I don't want a migraine. At leave I have some medicine with me. I'd better go take it.

Have a great day, everybody, and I'll keep you posted.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angie & Bailey -

I am so sorry for your rough days.
Angie & Tom - anytime you need
anything with the girls just yell
or throw a rock at the window, just kidding about the rock. You
get my point. We are always here
for all of you!!! We are continuing to pray that Bailey
improves and that God just keeps his loving arms around all of you.

Love you All-

Dee, Mark & Kids

11:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angie and Bailey: What a difficult day of testing, for both of you! I hope you were able to sleep and prepare for today, and that both of you get relief. I am so glad that Angie has kind and caring people to whom she can turn in an hour of crisis. Riley is a special place, and Angie and Bailey deserve a place as special as they are. Love, Diane

7:05 AM  
Blogger Aunt Vickie said...

Dear dear Angie and Bailey

It's been a long time since I've felt this helpless. I so wish there was something I could do to make things better. I love you both so much and I'm praying every day that things get better. You are both so much stronger than you realize. Hang in there.
Aunt Vickie

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my girls...Your Aunt Vickie is so right. Helpless is truly a feeling that is first in our hearts because we love you so much.

I'm thinking about you every moment of the day.

Mary Ann

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Angie:

Being strong for someone else is so hard - you want to make everything right, but have to depend on other people who have the talent. Keep your faith in God, Dr. D and Dr. T. Everyone is working to do whatever is best for Bailey to improve her life. We just pray for everyone involved - helpless as we are......

Much love, CAROL

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must first start by saying that though we have never meet both you Ladies, your Family and Friends have been a major inspiration in my life. This is the first time that I have ever left a comment but I feel that the Lord is telling me to share with you how your testimonies have strengthen my walk with Jesus.

I am an avid WFMS fan and was listing to the first radiothan being that I was a new employee @ Riley. Well I became intrigued when I heard this courageous 12-year-old young lady telling her story to Mimi on the air. Therefore, the story goes I found the link to Bailey’s Blogg on their website and have become a Bailey “Junkie” ever since.

So now that you and all your “protectors” now know that I am not a weirdo or stalker (Ha-Ha) I want to share a little story with you. I have had some Faith and fence walking so to speak issues with my spiritual walk with Jesus and feel that the Lord has put you both in my life because as I have read your blogg and seen what Bailey deals with as well as her family on a daily basis. It makes my problems tiny and if a child can have that much faith and trust in the Lord, I have some serious soul searching to do. Well I have done that! And am proud to say though I still have my days as all Christian’s do I am reading my Bible again, making prayer a daily (sometimes hourly) habit and feel a renewed relationship with Jesus, because he used a beautiful young Lady to show me what is really important in life.

Bailey and Angie as you come to this new crossroad with your health, just remember that there are many people praying for you and remember how you are touching so many lives like mine and I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for your future. I pray that you start feeling better very soon and want to say “Thank-you” (seems that is not enough to me) for sharing your Faith and helping me to get mine back! Sorry, for such a lengthy comment, but for one it was well over due and two I have so much more I want to say that if I don’t stop now, I could ramble on forever!!!

Prayers and Best Wishes,
Angie Bivens

11:48 AM  
Blogger carmelapples said...

Good Morning Glories, (remember when Mom would say that?)

Oh man. Sometimes words like "patience" and "hope you're feeling better" just frustrate me because they feel so inadequate. I want to make up new words that will actually bring a healing quality with them. I want words that will immediately induce calm and peace and hope. Maybe that's what God was describing when he talked about times of groaning...when we can't in our human minds think of words to pray.

So! From now on...the word "wheezilhoggin" is going to mean "abounding peace"...and the word "Skookstermoller" will mean "perfect patience"...OK? You'll have approximately 4 new vocabulary words a week. Quizzes on Mondays.

I love you each more than you could "Swizzle"...that's on next week's vocab list.

xoxo Deb

12:06 PM  
Blogger carmelapples said...

Just wanted to say that Angie Bivens made me cry.
What a beautiful, beautiful testimony. Thank you Angie B for sharing such a moving and powerful story. I think that's what I needed to hear today, too.

Maybe the word that I was looking for before was actually G-O-D...that word kind of says it all for us doesn't it. How beautiful! Thank you!!

Deb (Bailey's Aunt/Angie's Sister)

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am thnking about you both and hoping and praying that the procedures today all go smoothly and that Bailey you feel much better after this. Angie, hang in there!! Love you both! My prayers are with you always. Lori

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of your family constantly and keeping up on the blog daily. I'm so sorry you are going through this difficulty, but knowing you are in a wonderful place with amazing doctors must give you some comfort. Take care and know everyone is anxiously awaiting word of a better day for all of you!
Teri Margason

2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I'm so sorry Bailey is feeling so badly. I don't know what to say except we are so proud of you. You are just incredible. Hang in there. As you know from personal experience, God is never late, but He is rarely ever early. We love you and we're praying for you.

Daniel and Jennifer Riley

8:15 PM  

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