Maybe Home Tomorrow?!

Man! This is moving fast. I know that sounds kind of crazy since we've been here nearly 6 months, but they're talking about sending us home tomorrow (Monday). I made it home this weekend to frantically clean the house . . . and it's probably safe to tell you about a little secret that's been in the works for 6 months. Tom's been re-doing Bailey's room since we've been in here. He's built bookshelves and a window seat along one wall, new furniture, new closet, hardwood floors - the works! We have our own Extreme Makeover Home Edition deadline on our hands. He's home right now with 3 of his friends painting like a crazy man. He told me to pull Dr. T aside and ask him if he can hold on to her for a couple more days to give him time to finish the room! Then he mentioned Bailey and I spending a night at a hotel before we come home. I think I said something like, "Uh . . . No!" He's done an incredible job with it and he's so close to being done. Even if it isn't done by the time we get home, she'll still be so surprised! I can't wait to see her face.

Bailey took her first walk around the Heart Center - without the Berlin Heart - yesterday. She went down her first flight of stairs in 6 months! She's feeling pretty good. Still a little tired and sore, but improving every day. Her rhythm still looks really good too! So far, so good. But the possibility of going home so soon really stirs up some emotions for us. I've already cried tonight saying goodbye to one of her nurses. And Bailey's looking a little sad tonight, and said she's afraid she'll go home and have to turn around and come back. I think just being looked after for so long with watchful eyes and feeling safe and taken care of here at Riley where they jump right on anything that might need attention, I think she might just be feeling a little insecure. And I know what she means! I'm finding myself feeling a little nervous about going home and not having that yellow PA number to look at. We talked about it and decided that our job is twofold: to report any symptoms that might occur so that the doctors can deal with them; and, secondly, to just enjoy every single day that we are given in this life, which is something that we all need to focus on. Sure, we're scared that things might take a turn for the worse when we get home, whether it be a month down the road or 2 years down the road, but we'll take whatever is sent our direction and we are going to do our best to not sit around and worry about something that might not ever happen. That would be such a waste of good life. My prayer, of course, is that Bailey won't have to have any other surgery on her heart for the rest of her life and, not only that, but that it will continue to work like a charm. I think Bailey has really opened the eyes of modern medicine here. This might save countless children in the future from having a heart transplant by the doctors giving the Berlin Heart more time for their hearts to heal. I have a feeling we'll never know how big this medical breakthrough might become, and I also have a feeling we'll never know how big this prayer chain is that you all out there have had going for Bailey.

I can only just begin to thank you all for your prayers. We've all discovered here just how powerful prayer can be. One question I might have for Dr. T is how does it feel to work so closely with God? We all have our faith, and we all want to believe in miracles, but when a miracle happens right before your eyes, it's just spiritually lifechanging. I struggle here with not feeling worthy for all the prayers and for the miracles that God has shown us in the last 6 months, but I just keep telling myself that there's nothing any of us can ever do to earn God's gifts. We just have to recognize those gifts as gifts from God, be incredibly grateful for them, and turn around and give others our own gifts of love.

I didn't mean to make this posting such an in-depth message, but it just rolled off my fingers. I love you all out there so much, and I'll post something as soon as we hear whether we really are going home tomorrow or not. I'm still shaking my head in disbelief. Isn't it WONDERFUL?!!

Rest well everyone . . . we are!

Angie