So Many Things To Be Grateful For

It gets harder and harder to leave on weekends. The walking out of the door and the 12 hours leading up to that do get easier, but as soon as I get home, my impatience and anxiety seem to grow wild. I guess it just goes back to being separated from Bailey . . . and the fact that we've been here a very long time . . . and God really is the only one who knows how much longer we'll be here. Maybe, just maybe, it's starting to get to me a little. The big picture really is amazing. Bailey's got a machine from half-way across the world keeping her heart pumping. Back in December and January, she was in heart failure and growing sicker every day. Watching her body accumulate more fluid as the days went by was such a sickening, panicky thing to go through. With our faith in God, and everything we've learned reading Max Lucado's "It's Not About Me", we are able to find peace and a place where we can remain positive. The incredible fear and hopelessness that can easily and quickly creep in is so very destructive. We've been able to take every opportunity to laugh and every opportunity to be positive, and every opportunity to give thanks to God for keeping us strong. The friendships that we're building here with doctors and nurses and other staff is incredibly rewarding. I'm so grateful Riley is in our backyard, because I know these friendships will continue to thrive after we go home. Just so many things to be grateful for - all of you guys out there for reading these little updates which really are simply my journal entries. I'm glad that this blog page has somehow reached so many people, and I hope you find nothing but positive things here. This truly is an experience that I hope no one else needs to go through, but it is incredible to see the medical team working together with God to make Bailey better so we can go home. I really wish this documentary they're putting together could be about 10 hours long - instead of one hour - because I think it will take about that much time to get an accurate picture of this whole experience with the Berlin Heart. The guys at IMS volunteering their expertise and time in creating this documentary is an incredibe honor in itself. The narrator wanting to meet Bailey so he can get to know our family and become a part of our experience strikes me as such a grand gesture on his part. It's fun to giggle over his coming to Indy and meeting him, but the bottom line is that he wants to get to know Bailey and try to begin to get a feel for what she's going through. He's already gained my respect as a fellow human being trying to help a child in need (and many other kids in the future). See?! I TOLD you it must be starting to get to me! Haha!! Really, don't worry about me. I'm not falling apart - just reflecting on the past 6 months and on the future 6 months - wherever they might lead us. I'm glad to be back with Bailey. I enjoyed my time at home - had a GREAT time, in fact. I'm really anxious to have us all together again under one roof. Marissa's here spending the night with us tonight. I think she's going to be spending the rest of the week at Kindercare to see her friends who she's been talking about since January! She misses them so much. And thanks, Kindercare, for being so good to all of my girls these last 10-plus years. You guys are the absolute BEST!! - every single one of you!! I'm going to try and get Bailey in bed by midnight tonight (wish me luck - I'll need it!!), so I'd better go. Good night, everyone. Sleep well! Angie