Wednesday, April 06, 2005

We Almost Had One

Bailey woke up this morning, took a bite of a birthday cookie and a sip of Dr. Pepper [that was just to get her medicine down - that wasn't her breakfast!], and was then instructed by the nurse that Dr. T called and said not to eat or drink anything for a while. We didn't know what that meant, but Bailey knew that when that happens, it involves anesthesia. I had two thoughts: either they're doing a cath (because they did an echo yesterday) but I didn't really know why they would be doing a cath; or they were looking at a heart. But I didn't really think this was it either since they say it usually happens at night and I didn't really want to get my hopes and anxieties up. Bailey was worried. About an hour later, Dr. T comes in and says they are looking at a heart and would know in the next couple hours if it's a good match.

Wow. Here we are. We may or may not be having surgery within the next few hours. Bailey may or may not be getting her heart today. We may or may not be going home in 3 weeks or so. A lot to think about. A lot to be anxious about. Bailey became quite upset and scared of the whole thing. She did want it to be her heart but she didn't want it either. She was scared but she was excited. We had a talk about all the mixed emotions we were both feeling. We decided that this could be it, or it could also just be the first of several days like this. Either way, it's going to happen when God says it's going to happen. God's timing is perfect.

Then our friends from the documentary show up (without cameras - but I'm sure they had them with them somewhere) because Dr. T called them to be prepared. It was good to see them. They're such nice guys. Oh, and Brian opened his cell phone and showed me Patrick Dempsey's phone number - "He's a buddy of mine," he says. I asked if it was true he's narrating Bailey's documentary, and he said yes. I also asked if we get to meet him, and he said "absolutely". Sorry, girls, I don't have a photographic memory and didn't get his phone number! Haha!!

About 2:00, Bailey's nurse, Sandy, came in and said she could go ahead and eat. So, that was it. I guess it turns out it wasn't the perfect match. I felt, for a split second, like falling to my knees and just crying, but Bailey instantly bugged her eyes out and said, "Will you go get me McDonalds?!" She was more relieved that she could finally eat. But now we know what it will be like when it happens. It'll be a surprise and it will be fast. It will be exciting and it will be scary. And it will happen when the time is right.

Love you all,


Blogger Annette said...

Wow! Reading your post Angie was like watching a movie! I could picture you all in your room, waiting and wondering. I was almost holding my breath, reading until I came to the end. But your're right Ang - when it's ready, it'll happen.

I hope you get to keep all the posts you've written - this is a marvelous diary. You are a really good writer and manage to let us into your world and let us share all of your emotions and experiences. Thank you so much!

Well, I hope that the real thing happens soon. We'll all be praying and sending good vibes your way!


11:46 PM  
Blogger Rev. Evans said...

Hang in there, we are praying for you. God loves you and so do we at First Christian Church.
Rev. David

9:57 AM  
Blogger Aunt Debbie A said...

Ang - I love you. Now...get me that phone number! : ) ha ha

I sat here at my desk yesterday wanting to be excited. Feeling like it might be premature, but wanting so badly to be able to believe this was it. Sometimes the feelings of wanting to "fix everything for you" is so strong that I feel like I'm going to explode. I can't do anything but be in it with you. As I said that to myself a thought occurred to me...that's what God does so flawlessly. He may not give us the answers we want when we want them. But we can say with confidence that He is in this with us. He is with us. Somehow that brings peace to me in the disappointment. Not only believing but banking on the fact that He already knows who, what, where, and when. And His plan is flawless. I've tried to choose my words carefully on this page because people who go through very challenging situations often say that people wanting to help say the dumbest most inappropriate things...all I know how to do is express what I feel. I love you so much and am so proud of the way you live your every day life. I love you.

Our day will come! Call me if you need anything at all.


9:57 AM  
Blogger Aunt Vickie said...

The ballot boxes have been stuffed!! And, what we went through to get it done! Man, I think every person in the City of Indianapolis was at the mall at noon. Whew!!

Hey guess what. Cody won tickets to next Wednesday's Pacer game through school. Maybe you could talk Dr. T into going to another one! :)

I'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Annette said...

Angie - your sister Debbie said it all so brilliantly! We all want so badly for Bailey to get her new heart - we spend each day holding our breaths! We know it will happen - we just don't know when! There's not a lot we can say, except that we love you and if we can't physically be in Bailey's room with you every day, you are with us constantly in our hearts and minds!


2:27 PM  
Blogger GrandmaW said...

How are you doing Bailey. I was thinking on the way home from the hospital the other day, that you are in the position of a batter in the GREAT BASEBALL GAME OF LIFE! You are the batter, you have two balls and no strikes. One is coming your way that will be perfect, just be ready to make the great hit. Grandpa and I are rooting for you! Love you, Grandma W.

10:43 PM  

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